Baby Daddy
by xana4
Summary: "I don't want to wait, Callen. I'm tired of waiting, I can date all I want but I'm never going to find someone I can be myself with. I'm never going to find someone I can tell the whole truth about me to. I don't want to build a serious relationship based on a lie. I can't have a baby with someone who doesn't even know what I do for a living." Kensi/Callen
1. The Beginning

**Chapter: 1  
Title: The Beginning  
Words: 1009 (actual story, not the rambling…)  
Quote of the day: "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."**

**AN: I'm crazy. I'm lunatic. I'm certifiably insane. Now that we got that cleared up, here's my new story. I'm working on too many things at the same time but someone left me a review a while ago, on one of my other stories, which got me thinking. It's been way too long since I've written Kensi/Callen, my first NCIS:LA love. And, as someone once said, you don't forget your first love. That's why I'm back with a true Kensi/Callen story. I haven't written this pairing in a while so forgive me if I don't get some characteristics right. I'll get there. Now, I would appreciate if you guys told me what you think about this first chapter. I'll do my best to have another one up before the end of the week but I'm not going to make any promises. Anyway, this is getting too long. Enjoy your chapter =)**

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When Callen gets out of the gym, he's surprised to see Kensi still sitting there, at her desk. It's past midnight and he thought he was the only one from the team still there. He likes to work out in the late hours of the night and it's a habit he can't change nor does he wishes to. Kensi, however, doesn't seem surprised to see him there and smiles softly when she sees him walking in.

Callen sits down with a frown on his face. "It's late. What are you still doing here?"

Kensi sighs and looks him in the eye. "I was waiting for you, actually…"

Callen is on high alert, now. "Is everything okay?"

Kensi nods, knowing that Callen's protectiveness must be kicking in. "Yeah, I just want to talk to you about something."

He nods, waiting anxiously for her to start talking. "What's going on?"

Kensi rolls her chair closer to him and looks around to make sure no one is around to listen to this conversation. Yeah, she knows it' risky to talk about something like this in a place where the damn walls have ears but it's better than go to his house. This is awkward enough as it is. Taking a deep breath, she starts. "You don't want a family."

Callen frowns, more concerned by the minute. It's obvious that this is a serious conversation. "Is that a question?"

Kensi shakes her head. "No, it's a statement. You are a very good friend and you don't want a family."

Callen understands something is troubling her and she's obviously struggling with this conversation. So he offers her some support, grabbing her hand and giving it a little squeeze. "Kenz, this conversation is sounding a bit weird. What's this about?"

She sighs and looks him in the eye. "My biological clock has been ticking like crazy, lately."

Callen offers her a small smile, not letting go of her hand. "You're still young. You have plenty of time for kids."

She shakes her head and looks around once again to make sure there's still no one there. "I don't want to wait, Callen. I'm tired of waiting, I can date all I want but I'm never going to find someone I can be myself with. I'm never going to find someone I can tell the whole truth about me to. I don't want to build a serious relationship based on a lie. I can't have a baby with someone who doesn't even know what I do for a living."

He has to agree with that because it's something they all have to deal with. "Yeah, I get that."

And that's when Kensi drops the bomb that leaves him with his mouth open. "That's why I decided to get pregnant now and meet someone later."

Callen is in silence for a few seconds, her hand still in his, too shocked to form words. However, when he recovers, he manages to speak. "Wait a minute…you're not going to have unprotected sex with strangers, right?"

Kensi shakes her head, too calm for his liking. He can tell she already gave this a lot of thought. "I'm not crazy, Callen. I'm going to be fertilized, in a clinic, with donor's sperm."

He takes a few deep breaths before calming down and looking her in the eye once again. When he speaks, his voice is much gentler. "Are you sure about this?"

Kensi smiles when she sees the support in his features. "I'm sure."

Callen nods and puts his game-face on, ready to help her. "Well, have you picked a donor yet?"

Kensi becomes unsure, once again, and he gives her hand another gentle squeeze to show her he's there for her. "I have but I'm not sure if he'll agree to do it."

Callen frowns. "You're not going to a sperm bank?"

She shakes her head. "I can't. That kind of creeps me out. I want the donor to be someone I know."

Trying to lighten up the mood, Callen smiles and fakes horror. "Please, tell me you're not asking Deeks to do it. We don't need any more surfers running around."

Kensi takes a deep breath and faces him. "Actually, I want you to be the donor. And, before you say anything, I promise that's all I want from you. I don't want you to be the father or to even assume the kid's yours. It can stay between us and no one will ever have to know. I just want your sperm."

Callen recovers from the shock quickly, this time, but lets go of her hand. "Why mine?"

Kensi doesn't even have to think about an answer to that question, proving once again that she thought long and hard about this subject. "We're friends and you have qualities I would like in a son or daughter. I've given this a lot of thought, Callen. I want you to do it."

Callen gets up and scratches the back of his head and sighs. "You do realize we're not talking about letting me drive your car, right? We're talking about you having my baby."

The fact he didn't say 'no' right away gives her some hope and she knows she has to give him time and space to think about this. So she gets up and looks him in the eye once again, even as he tries to look away. "It's as I said. I don't want you to be the father. All I need from you is sperm. Just, think about it, okay?"

Callen, unable to deny her that, nods, still clearly in shock with all this. This is not what he envisioned his night to be, that's for sure. It's not every day that a co-worker and a friend asks him to donate sperm so she can have a baby. "Yeah, I'll think about it."

Kensi kisses his cheek in one of those rare-sweet gestures and bids him goodnight. "Thank you, Callen. Good night. I'll see you in the morning."

He nods as she leaves. "Good night, Kensi."

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**TBC…**

**Love,  
Sarah**


	2. Month Zero

**Chapter 2  
Title: Month Zero  
Words: 1038  
Quote of the day: "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!"**

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews on the first chapter. Some of you showed some concerns with the storyline but I'm going to try to stay away from the "I'm pregnant = I'm in love" story. It's not going to be like that. I just want to warn you about something. I've never had a baby so I have no idea if the things regarding pregnancies will be right. I'm going to do a lot of research and I will ask my currently-pregnant sister-in-law some questions. I just want to put that out there. Despite having a five year old brother, he was adopted so that rules that experience out. Please, be patient with my lack of knowledge about this particular subject. Anyway, enough with the rambling…enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think about it. **

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A week goes by and it's business as usual.

They go to work every day pretending that she didn't ask him this huge thing.

Somehow, she doesn't think it's that huge. It's just sperm, anyway. It's not like he doesn't have enough to spare. Men are sperm-machines. What's his problem? At this point, she's not sure if the loud ticking of her biological clock isn't clouding her judgment because the sane part of her brain is aware this is actually a pretty big deal.

Kensi pretty much asked Callen to be the father of her baby.

But she doesn't want him to be the father. She wasn't just saying that. She doesn't need anything more than his donation to the cause.

Women have been raising kids on their own for thousands of years. She can hot-wire an airplane…she's pretty sure she can handle a baby.

There's no reasonable reason for him to be anyway involved in her kid's life. Sure, they're a team that spends a ridiculous amount of time together but that means nothing. Sam has kids and they barely have contact with them.

Yet, with all those perfectly understandable arguments in her mind, she can't help but become increasingly frustrated with his lack of response. She can handle a no but he needs to tell her so she can start looking for someone to do it. But that's just the thing that's bothering her.

She doesn't want anyone else to do it. Callen is someone she trusts, someone she knows. He's a good guy and the kid would obviously have good genes. She doesn't want to have a baby with a complete stranger.

Then there's Deeks.

But she doesn't want to ask that from him. Yes, he's offered but they both know those aren't real offers. Deeks wants the whole deal. He wants the wife, the house, the dogs, the kids and the happy family. She could ask him to be nothing but a sperm donor but she can't do that to her partner knowing all his childhood traumas and the effects they still have on him.

He would never walk away from his kid. He would want to be there for the whole thing.

And that's not what she wants.

Kensi shakes her head to get rid of those thoughts. She's currently driving home and just wants to get in the shower and wash away all her worries. However, as soon as she parks the car on her street, it becomes painfully obvious that's not going to happen.

Callen is sitting on her porch, something that looks like a six-pack by his side. She walks to him, becoming more nervous with every step. She knows why he's here. He's here to talk about her question. This means he's either here to make her dream come true or to crush said dream.

To disguise the nerves, she starts talking. "You could have told me you were coming. I would have gotten here faster."

Callen gets up and smiles. "I didn't really have anywhere else to be. I had plenty of time to wait."

Kensi unlocks the door and motions for him to follow her inside. He does so and closes the door behind him. The silence that settles between them isn't awkward but Kensi feels the need to break it anyway. She's never been good with these things.

She turns to him and starts rambling. "Look, it's been a week. I've been driving myself crazy thinking about this whole thing. I just want you to know this won't change a thing in our relationship. We're good friends. I respect you and I care about you. No matter what's your decision, that's not going to change anytime soon. I want you to be sure of that. And I don't want to force you into something you don't want. I'm not trying to force you to have a family. I just want to have a baby and it feels right to ask you to do this crazy thing. I'll even sign a contract saying I won't ever ask anything from you, if that will make you feel better. And if you say you don't want to do it, it's fine too. I just have to know because this is killing me."

Callen is grinning now. "Are you done?"

Kensi nods, suddenly incapable of saying a word.

Callen hands her the six-pack with a smile on his face. "You should have one."

Kensi shakes her head. "I'm too nervous to drink. Just tell me, Callen."

Callen takes a deep breath. "Look, I've never wanted a family. And I still don't want a family. But you clearly want one and you've given this a lot of thought. I can't promise you things won't change but…you should really have a beer."

Kensi frowns. "What's with you and the damn beer?"

Callen smiles and hands her the beer. "You should really have a beer because you won't be able to do so for the next few months."

Kensi is in shock, not sure he means what she thinks he means. Callen senses that and tries a more obvious approach. "Kensi, I'm saying I'll do it. I'll give you what you need. Just promise me this will stay between us. I don't really need everyone trying to shrink us at work for this."

Kensi, still unable to form a coherent sentence, answers him by throwing her arms around him and pulling him in for a hug. She will live to be one hundred and will still be unable to thank him properly for this. Callen returns the hug, not sure of what else to do.

She finally pulls back, after a few seconds, and looks him in the eye with a huge smile on her face. "Thank you so much, Callen."

Callen nods and they sit on her couch, sipping their beers in comfortable silence. Things will never be the same again, that they're sure of. However, nobody said all changes are bad. Some can be pretty damn good. She just hopes this is a good one. Otherwise, things ate work will become very awkward.

But she figures they can cross that bridge if they come to it. For now, this is good.

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**TBC…**

**Love,  
Sarah**


	3. Month One

**Chapter 3  
Title: Month One  
Words: 1723  
Quote of the day: "I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." **

**AN: I'm sorry it took this long for me to post this chapter but I was having some trouble with it. I hope you guys like the way it turned out. I'm so happy to realize that this story is being so successful so far. Your reviews honestly make my day. I love you all, dear readers. Anyway, here's the chapter =) I promise I'll try to update this story more regularly from now on. I've been just crazy busy lately but things will calm down after tomorrow. **

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Kensi sits on her bathtub and waits.

She knows this can take some time. Many people don't get pregnant on the first try. In fact, her doctor warned her it can take many months before it works. However, the same doctor also told her she's healthy, fit and young so the chances of it working on the first try are pretty high. That's why, one month later, she's sitting on her bathtub, waiting the necessary five minutes for the test to show her if she is pregnant.

She's not nervous. In fact, she's very calm. If it doesn't work this time, it's not the end of the world. She has time and she's sure Callen's on board. They talked about the possibility of it not working on the first try and he'd assured her he wouldn't mind doing more than one donation to the cause. So she's not that nervous.

However, some doubts are starting to cloud her mind. Will she even be a good mother? She has no idea of how to be one. She's never been maternal and now, sitting and waiting for the results, she starts thinking about the possibility of being a crappy mother. So, without hesitation, Kensi calls her mother.

The woman answers after two rings. "Honey, is everything okay?"

Kensi frowns, even though her Julia can't see her. "Yes, I'm just calling."

Julia lets out a sigh of relief that Kensi can hear through the phone. "I'm sorry for panicking but you never call this early. I was doing breakfast and the phone scared me. How are you, Kensi?"

Kensi looks at her watch and mentally kicks herself. That's probably the downside of taking a test in the morning. She forgot how early it was. Luckily, Julia was already up. Without hesitation now, she blurts out. "I need to tell you something."

Again, her mother sounds worried and that's not Kensi's intention. "What's going on?"

After taking a deep breath, Kensi decides to do the Band-Aid approach. "I decided to have a baby. I arranged a sperm donor and I went to the doctor a month ago to be fertilized. I'm currently sitting on my bathtub, waiting for the pregnancy test to tell me if it worked or not. Am I crazy? Am I even going to be a good mother? Will I be able to do this on my own?"

After a few seconds, Julia answers her, after getting over the shock. "Honey, you're not crazy. Women have been doing this for many years now. You can do this on your own but you won't even have to. I'll be there for you, for anything you need me. And your team, your family, they won't let you go through anything alone either. You're surrounded by people who love you and who will help you. Kensi, you're going to be a great mother. I know it seems scary now because no one is ever really ready to have a baby. But it will seem a lot less scary as time goes by. I just wish you'd told me earlier. I would have gone with you to the doctor. I would be there with you right now."

Kensi, relieved with her mother's words, sighs. "I'm okay. I wanted to do this on my own. I'm 200 seconds away from knowing."

Julia is smiling on the other side, she can tell by her voice. "Well, don't hang up on me before you know. I want to know if you're pregnant or not!"

"There's one more thing, though. You can't tell the team I used a sperm donor. I'm not going to tell them that."

This time, Kensi can hear the surprise on Julia's voice because it's not common for Kensi to lie to the guys. "What are you going to tell them?"

She's been thinking about that for a while now and tells her mother the best plan she was capable of coming up with. "I'm going to tell them it was a one-night stand."

Again, Julia seems confused with her daughter's plan. "How is that any better than a sperm donor?"

Kensi doesn't hesitate because that's something she does not doubt. "Mom, if I tell them it was a sperm donor they're going to ask many questions. They'll want to know why I decided to get pregnant, who is the guy and stuff like that. If I tell them I got pregnant after a one-night stand, by accident, I know they'll respect me enough to leave it alone. Besides, I'm not going to tell them right away. If I am pregnant, I'm going to wait until the two-month mark to break the news."

Julia's answer doesn't surprise her. "Well, I respect that and you can count me in. But, just so you know, it's common to wait until the end of the first trimester to tell people about the pregnancy."

Kensi can't help the small smile that takes over her features as she thinks about it. "Mom, my body is going to change. They're going to know something's not right. I'm lucky if I can hide it for two months, much less three."

"Kensi, the time is probably up by now."

Realizing her mother's right, Kensi takes a deep breath. However, as she's getting up to go see the test, she hears someone opening her door and the sound of her partner's voice. "Kensi, it's time to go. Are you okay?"

Kensi curses, forgetting she's on the phone with her mother. She completely forgot that Deeks was coming to meet her at her house today so they could go to work together. "I'm in my bedroom. I'll be right out."

Julia speaks again. "Honey, just look at the test and tell me. Then you can go to work."

But she should have guessed it wouldn't be that simple because Marty Deeks is not known to have boundaries and walks in the bathroom. Yes, she should have closed the door. And, before she can stop him, he's looking at the pregnancy test and looking at her in shock. "You're pregnant?"

Kensi sighs. "I don't know. I might be. What does the test say?"

Deeks is still in shock but manages to answer her. "It says you're pregnant. Is there anything you'd like to tell me, partner?"

Remembering her mother's on the phone, Kensi motions for him to wait a minute. "Mom, I'll call you tonight. I'm sure you heard the result. I have to go now. Bye."

With that, she hangs up and turns to Deeks. "Listen, it was an accident. The condom broke and I thought it would be fine. As it turns out, it's not that fine."

Deeks shakes his head. "Are you not on the pill?"

She sits on the edge of the bathtub. "Of course I'm on the pill. But some things affect the pill and it stopped working."

Deeks sighs and sits next to her. "Well, what are you going to do now?"

Playing the part of someone who didn't plan the pregnancy, Kensi pretends to give it some thought. "I'm going to keep the baby. It's my baby and it's not its fault. I can do this."

Deeks nods. "Are you going to tell the father?"

Kensi shakes her head. "I don't even have his number. Besides, it was a one-time thing. I'd rather raise this baby on my own than with him. I can do this by myself."

Deeks gets up and pulls her up, smiling at her. "You're not going to do anything on your own. You have all of us with you and your mother. We won't let you go through anything alone. I volunteer for the appointments and the cravings but there's no way in hell I'll be in the delivery room so you can ask someone else for that. Shopping for clothes is also not my thing but your mom, Hetty and Nell won't let you go alone to that either. I'm sure Sam will be able to offer many advices seeing as he already has kids. Callen and Eric can take care of the nursery because I'm not seeing them do anything else. We have your back, Kensi. You're not alone."

Kensi hugs him, thankful for his words and support. Later, she'll blame this hug on the hormones. For now, she needs this. When they pull back, Deeks announces it's time to go to work and Kensi grabs her things, following him out of the door.

Once in the car, Kensi warns him. "I don't want to tell the team yet. I want to wait until the end of the first trimester. So this has to be our secret!"

Deeks laughs. "Yeah, there's no way in hell that's going to happen."

Kensi frowns, not taking her eyes off the road. "It's what I want to do. Can't you respect my decision?"

Deeks turns serious now. "Look, I'm not going to let you go to the field and work like usual knowing that you're pregnant. It's too dangerous. Besides, in the next few days, your boobs are going to get huge. They're going to know."

She sighs, knowing he has a point. "Fine, but I'm telling them and not you."

Deeks nods and they continue driving to work in silence. As soon as she parks, she sends Callen a text. He has the right to be the first one to know.

_It worked. I'm pregnant._

A few seconds later, just as they're entering the headquarters, she receives his answer.

_Ok. Congratulations._

They enter the bullpen and it's business as usual for the rest of the day. It's only as they're getting ready to leave that Kensi announces she has something to say. The team is there, along with Hetty, Eric and Nell.

And she stars speaking. "I'm pregnant. I'm only four weeks along and I don't want to talk much about it. All you need to know is that it was an accident, a one-night stand, and that the father's not going to know about it. I'm going to do this on my own."

After they get over the shock, everyone congratulates her and start making plans to help her. Callen remains quiet but with a small smile on his face to keep up the appearance that he knows nothing about this.

And, just like that, everything changed.

**TBC…**


	4. Month Two

**Chapter 4  
Title: Month Two  
Words: 1371  
Quote of the day: "Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you."**

**AN: I know, you're probably all in shock because I'm updating this story so quickly. But I'm in a good mood and when I'm in a good mood I spread the love. That's why you're getting the update so soon. Enjoy and let me know what you think about it. Much love to all of you :-)**

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Kensi soon learns that being pregnant when the team's around is not nearly as easy as she thought it would be. The day after she announces she's pregnant, a new set of rules is immediately put into place, mainly by Sam and Deeks. Callen tries to stay away from everything that concerns the baby and she can't say she doesn't like it.

After all, it's part of their deal. But a little help with Sam and Deeks would be nice because she's sure those two will drive her crazy before the pregnancy is over. They mean well, Kensi knows that. They're just getting on her nerves with the protectiveness.

One day she'll probably look back and tell her kid all about the two most amazing uncles that ever walked on this Earth. For now, she wants to see them in pain for everything they're doing to her.

The first rule is dictated by Sam. She's not allowed to drink coffee anymore. That's ridiculous, in her book. Pregnant women can drink coffee. Sure, they can't drink a lot of it but a small portion per day shouldn't do any harm.

However, Sam's not budging on that one and even presents a few studies about the effects of caffeine on a fetus. It scares her when she reads it but she misses her coffee. Deeks backs him up so there's no way she's touching coffee anytime soon.

That makes her even grumpier but they say they can deal with it.

Deeks, as usual, takes things one step further. After hours of research, he comes up with a list of things she can and can't do during the pregnancy. Some things she knew but other things she had no idea of. Secretly, she's happy he cared enough to do said research.

She'll never admit it out loud because Deeks doesn't need anyone to stroke his ego but she's thankful for all he did for her and the baby. Kensi's thinking he'd be the perfect godfather for the baby but she's got plenty of time to think about that.

The first thing he tells her is to avoid hot tubes and saunas. It seems that a pregnant woman's body is already working a lot to keep that baby growing and safe. The rise of body temperature can be dangerous for the baby's development and she had no idea about such a thing.

It surprises her that Deeks doesn't make some sort of witty comment about that but it only proves her he's a good partner and an even better friend.

Then, he takes away her aspirin. She kept aspirins on her drawer, at work, because not all days are easy and those things are miracle workers. From headaches to back-pain, aspirins used to be her go-to medication. However, as Deeks points out, everything she takes now can affect the baby, seeing as everything she eats can go through the baby too.

He's right on that and she doesn't argue when he hides the aspirins. She doesn't want to risk anything going wrong because of her.

He wants her to stay away from fish and she has to admit she has no issues with that. Kensi's never been much of a fish person, anyway. Deeks says something about mercury and stuff like that but she's way past hearing him at that point. She'll stay away from fish without batting an eye.

That means that they take away her coffee every morning, they buy her lunch to make sure she's eating right and, in Deeks case, he's always outing himself between her and everyone else when they go to the field.

Sure, Hetty doesn't let her leave the headquarters when they're guessing there's going to me danger involved but no one has a problem when it comes to take her to interrogations and talking to families.

Eric comes downstairs, one day, and announces she shouldn't drink herbal tea because there are not nearly enough studies to prove that such a thing is safe for the baby. It's cute that even Eric worries enough to do research for her and that makes her want to cry.

That's one other thing that has changed. Her mood swings have been driving her crazy, lately. The team noticed but no one said a word about it.

Deeks keeps trying to help her with everything he can but, in the end, there are things she doesn't feel like talking with him about. That's why she summons the girls to her house, one evening. Nell and her mother agree but Hetty says she'd rather keep an eye on her during the day and leave the other two women to handle that.

Her breasts are getting bigger and very tender. She's been having trouble sleeping because she can't find a comfortable position to do so. She has headaches every once in a while that are caused by the lack of sleep and the rising on her hormone levels. Her lower abdomen has a very small bump in it, something no one but her can see at this point.

Nell offers some help. "I read somewhere that you can use special bras that decrease the tenderness. My sister-in-law said that really bothered her during the day, on her first trimester."

Kensi nods and her mother takes over, a gentle smile on her face. "Nell's right about those bras. We can go shopping tomorrow, if you want to. I can help you. The headaches…well, there's nothing you can do about it but rest. And I know how to fix the sleeping problems. When I was pregnant, expecting you, I could only sleep cuddled to your father but when he had to go out I couldn't rest. So I got this body pillow that lets you do the same. They're really good and I think they might help."

Kensi takes a deep breath, sensing for the first time this month that things are under control. However, her mother's next words show her she's not nearly in control as she though a few seconds earlier. "When's your first appointment?"

Kensi frowns. "I haven't made an appointment yet. I wasn't sure of when I should do it."

Her mother nods. "Well, the first prenatal visit is usually done around the 8 week mark. That's this week for you. I can give you the name of a good doctor that helped a friend of mine during her pregnancy. She's very good and very nice."

Nell takes Kensi's hand and smiles, excited. "I can go with you, if you want me to. I love babies and I'd be happy to help you."

Kensi laughs a bit, this time. "Thank you, Nell, but Deeks would kill me if I took you to the first appointment. He said he wants to go with me."

And, three days later, she's sitting in a waiting room, Deeks by her side and 3 very pregnant women close by. He seems both nervous and excited to be there and she's glad she has someone there with her. When the doctor calls her name, Deeks is the first one to get up, something that amuses her and doctor Parson. They enter the exam room and the doctor asks her a bunch of questions.

Then, the most waited event comes. They're going to see the baby. Kensi lays down and Deeks stands by her side, a goofy smile on his face. They told the doctor that he's the father because, in the end of the day, how the baby got in there is no one's business and he's happy to play the part.

The doctor shows her the screen where a very blurry dot appears to be moving. Kensi can't see a damn thing in the ultrasound but that's her baby in there and that's enough to make her happy. Everything's okay and that's what matters.

However, as Deeks is driving her home, something weird takes over her brain. It shouldn't have been Deeks there with her. It should have been the baby's father.

But Kensi is quick to dismiss those thoughts. That's not part of their arrangement. Callen is just the sperm donor and nothing else. And she'll have to learn to deal with that despite her hormones.

**TBC…**


	5. Month Three

**Chapter 5  
Title: Month Three  
Words: 1720  
Quote of the day: "I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture."**

**AN: I could say that I've been really busy with school work but that would be a lie and I don't like to lie to you guys. The truth is that I've been busy with my new boyfriend. We've been going out for three weeks now and I'm currently on cloud-nine. That's why it's been so long since my last update. Besides, I'm also working now so that leaves me with slightly less time. I hope I can post the next chapter sooner than that but I'm not going to make any promises because I don't want to disappoint anyone. I apologize for taking this long and want to send a big hug to all of you who still stick with me through my lack of frequent updates. Enjoy =) **

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It comes to her, somewhere in the middle of her third month, that she is the most blessed woman ever. She has yet to experience morning sickness and she's almost done with her first trimester. The truth is that she's been very lucky so far. She's heard horrible stories about women getting so sick during the first few months that they can't even leave the bed.

She has never felt anything even close to that and for that she's thankful. Deeks is thankful too because they both know who would end up helping her with that terrible thing called morning sickness and he's not very good when it comes to dealing with sick people, something she learned a while ago during an operation.

A few weeks ago, she was constantly tired but every day she feels more energy cursing through her veins. Maybe that's her body's way of telling her it's already used to dealing with the small human being growing inside. She can finally sleep, too. Her mother's advice worked and that means the headaches are gone too.

She noticed she gained some weight but that's not worrying her. It's normal to gain weight during the pregnancy and it means everything's okay. After all, the baby has to grow. That means, however, her waistline is nearly gone.

No one seems to notice, though. Or at least no one says a word.

The doctor warned her that she'd always be the first one to notice those small changes and that she shouldn't get angry with her partner for not noticing.

That's kind of ironic when it comes to them because she's sure Deeks could easily be the first one to notice anything in her, even before she did. He's a good partner.

However, she also noticed another change at work. Callen is ignoring her pregnancy. It's not subtle or anything, really. Every single time they're in the bullpen and someone starts talking about babies and pregnancy, he finds a way to either change the subject or leave the room. Deeks and Sam share a secretive look sometimes, when they think she's not paying attention to them.

She sees those looks. Sure, she doesn't know what they mean but she sees them. A part of her is afraid they'll find out her secret but Kensi knows that's impossible. The only way for them to find out would be if Callen told them and she knows he would never do that without talking to her about it.

Now that she thinks about it, though, she hasn't spoken much with Callen lately. They've been kind of busy but that's not it.

Maybe he's not just avoiding her pregnancy.

Maybe he's avoiding her altogether.

And, just like that, the tears start to flow and there's nothing she can do to stop them. Yes, she's in the bullpen but she can't stop the thoughts or the reaction.

Deeks gets up, instantly alarmed, and is at her side in less than five seconds. Sam doesn't move but she can feel his eyes on her. Callen is not there and she's thankful that he's not witnessing her current breakdown.

Through the tears, she hears Sam telling Deeks to take her out of there and Deeks grabs her hand, gently. Kensi looks at him and Deeks wipes away her tears before pulling her to her feet and guiding her to an empty room in the back. After a few minutes in which she can do nothing but cry as he tries to understand what's going on, she finally manages to calm down enough to speak, in between sobs.

"I have to tell you something."

Deeks seems worried. "Kensi, you nearly gave me a heart-attack when you started crying like that. What's going on?"

She takes a deep breath, trying to control her erratic breathing, before continuing. "What I'm about to tell you can't leave this room. You can never say a word to anyone. I'm trusting you, Deeks."

He frowns but nods. "You can tell me anything and I promise I won't talk about it with anyone. You're worrying me, partner."

She takes another deep breath and sits down, much calmer now. "I lied to you when I told you this baby came after a one-night stand."

Deeks seems confused, now, and sits on an old couch across from her. "I don't get it. What happened, then?"

She knows there's no point in backing down now. He'll keep it a secret and she needs to tell someone this. "I decided I wanted a baby so I got a sperm donor and got pregnant."

Deeks in silence for a few seconds trying to make sense of what she just told him. Then, suddenly, his eyes grow bigger and she knows he must have come to some sort of conclusion. "It's Callen's baby!"

It scares her how quick he reaches that conclusion but she doesn't have it in her to deny it. "Yes, it's Callen's. But we have a deal. He's just the sperm donor, nothing more. He doesn't want a family and I want to do this on my own. It's better this way."

Deeks nods, still a bit confused. "Well, that explains why he doesn't want to be anywhere near when we're talking about babies. But it doesn't really explain your breakdown."

She sighs. "He's avoiding me, Deeks. I was prepared to deal with him avoiding the pregnancy and I'm okay with that. But I hate to know he's avoiding me. We've been friends for far too long. I can't lose him, Deeks. I can't deal with that."

Deeks pats the empty space next to him on the couch and she sits there. He rubs her back, comfortingly. "Listen, I may now know much but I know Callen adores you. You're very special to him and you've been very close friends for years, as you said. You're not going to lose him. But this is kind of a huge deal. You need to give him time and space to adjust to all of it. You'll see…everything will be okay."

And she really hopes Deeks is right.

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Meanwhile, back in the bullpen, Callen walks in and is met with Sam's pointed look. The first thing he notices is that Deeks and Kensi are nowhere to be seen. That worries him because, as far as he's concerned, there's no reason for them not to be there.

Then he remembers that worrying about her well-being is not his job. That's not part of their deal and the wrong move from him can annoy Kensi. He doesn't have the energy to deal with an angry Kensi at this point.

Sitting on his chair, Callen gives up and faces his partner. "What's going on?"

Sam doesn't stop his staring, though. "Why don't you tell me?"

Callen is confused with his partner's question and shakes his head. "I have no idea of what you're talking about…"

Sam looks around to make sure no one's listening to their talk before answering him. "So you have no idea of why you're avoiding Kensi?"

Callen frowns. "I'm not avoiding Kensi."

Sam is in silence for a few seconds, staring at his partner and trying to read him. Then, his eyes widen and his expression turns into shock. And, just like that, Callen is aware that there's no more hiding this from his partner.

However, just as Sam opens his mouth to say something, Kensi and Deeks walk back into the bullpen and that's the end of the conversation. Well, it's not the end of the conversation because they both know this is far from over but it's the end for now.

And that gives Callen some time to think about what he's going to tell Sam.

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The day goes by without anyone talking about babies or pregnancy and a small part of Callen thinks Sam just might forget about whatever he thinks he knows. But it's just a tiny part of his brain because the rest of him knows Sam well enough to know there's not a chance of that happening.

It's close to midnight when there's a knock on his door and Callen knows who's on the other side without even looking.

Sam walks in and gives Callen a pointed look. "What have you done?"

Callen sighs. "It's not what you're thinking."

Sam frowns, not convinced. "So you didn't get Kensi pregnant?"

Callen sits down and takes a deep breath. "I did get Kensi pregnant but I didn't sleep with her."

Sam sits down, realizing this is going to be a messed up conversation just by the look on the other man's face. "Yeah, you're going to have to explain that one a little bit better."

And Callen does just that. During the next few minutes, he explains everything to Sam, who can do little more than breath and stare at him in shock. When he's done, Sam recovers from the shock and actually shows him a small smile. "That's not going to happen."

Callen frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You made a deal with her. You're nothing but the sperm donor. But there's a reason why sperm donors are usually not someone the mother knows. You're going to fall so hard for your baby you're not even going to see it coming. One of these days, you're going to look at Kensi's rounded stomach and you'll feel so much love towards the little guy or girl that you won't be able to stay away, no matter how much you want to. Because, in the end, that's your baby."

Callen shakes his head. "I've been doing a good job so far."

Sam laughs. "Of course you're doing a good job. She's not even showing yet! There's almost no evidence on her body that there's a baby inside and that makes it easy for you to ignore that fact. But, as soon as she starts showing, there'll be no more ignoring. Trust me on this one…the woman becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant. The man only becomes a father when there's physical evidence that there's a baby in there. And in just a few weeks, you'll want to be a part of that amazing miracle."

And Callen really hopes Sam is wrong because Kensi would never allow him to break their deal.

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**I hope it was worth the wait. Reviews would be lovely, as usual. Much love to all of you because I'm in a good mood and feeling like spreading it around.**

**Sarah**


	6. Month Four

**Chapter 6**

**Title: Month Four**

**Words: 1452 without the rambling**

**Quote of the day: Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.**

**AN: I'm an horrible person, I know. I'm currently out of the country, enjoying some much needed vacations. However, that's no excuse and I really should have updated my stories sooner than this. The good news is that the next five chapters are already written and ready to be posted so you won't have to wait another month for updates. The bad news is that I'll be out of the country for another two weeks and I'm not sure if I'll be able to update before the beginning of September. Thank you so much to everyone who still has faith in me and that is planning to stick with me through this not-so-regular updates. I'm giving my best, here. To all of you who were following 'Lost in Paradise' too, I had to delete that story to make some changes because I changed my mind about the finale and I need to make the new one work. I promise I will post it again when I have it finished so you won't have to wait months for an update. To the ones who only read this one, we have 10 more chapters to go and many things can happen in 10 chapters. I want to finish it until November so I can start a new one by then. That's my goal. But enough with the rambling. Enjoy your chapter and forgive me for taking so long to come out.  
Love,  
Sarah **

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Kensi's four months pregnant but, much to Deeks dismay, Hetty has yet to make her sit on a desk and stay there through the day. It's not that he doesn't enjoy his partner's company but she has the habit of getting in trouble and she can no longer think about just herself. There's a small being that depends on her. In his opinion, that should be enough to slow her down but Kensi Blye is not the type of woman who slows down just because of a baby.

And, when they have to go after a suspect and she gets out of his sight, he panics. And he panics even more when he finds her and her shirt has blood on it. She obviously fought with the guy and that scares the crap out of him. If something happened to the baby, she would never be the same again. Hell, if something happened to the baby, he's pretty sure Callen would kill him. Ever since Kensi told him the truth about this baby, he started noticing a few things. Callen is perfectly aware that there's a baby inside of her, a baby that is his. Deeks is sure he doesn't know what to do but he's aware of that change in their relationship.

Sam is only half-surprised when the two partners walk into the boathouse in the middle of an argument. It's nothing new. Disguising the amused grin, Sam turns to them and tries to figure out what's going on this time. He's seen them argue about paper before so it could be literally anything this time. "What's going on this time, children?"

Deeks doesn't seem amused, though. "Kensi's being stubborn and won't let me take her to the hospital!"

Callen chooses that moment to walk in and, even though he tries to disguise it, his worry doesn't go unnoticed by the two male agents on the room. Kensi, however, doesn't seem to notice it, probably because she's in complete denial when it comes to her relationship with Callen. She's so convinced that he doesn't care about her and the baby that she can't even see the small changes in him. But, even though he worries, as soon as he notices he walked in the middle of an argument, he excuses himself to go outside.

Sam is the one who continues, then, knowing his partner would have stayed had he heard that Deeks wanted to take Kensi to the hospital. "Why do you want to take her to the hospital?"

Again, Deeks' tone of voice reveals just how pissed off he is with her stubbornness. He looks at his partner and gives her a direct order, one she's not brave enough to go against, after all, she's never seen Deeks this angry before. And she's pretty sure that arguing with him would only fuel an argument with Sam too. "Take off your jacket and let them see why I want to take you to the hospital."

As soon as she takes off the jacket, the blood on her shirt is enough to get a reaction from everyone in the room. Deeks gets even more pissed off. Sam is the only one who can speak and tries as hard as he can to remain calm, something that is not an easy task when the pregnant element of the team has that amount of blood on her shirt.

"Is that yours?"

Kensi bursts, then, a little pissed off now. She's pregnant but she's not a kid. She can take care of herself and she sure as hell doesn't need this much fussing around her. If she thought she had to go to the hospital, she would go. She's not that reckless.

"Of course it's not mine! I'm not that irresponsible. I would go to the hospital if I thought I was hurt."

Deeks shakes his head and looks at Sam, showing him he's on the verge of putting her over his shoulder and taking her there, even against her will. Sam can tell this argument has been going on for a while and that is getting on Deeks last nerves.

"She won't even let me check if she has bruises! It's driving me crazy!"

Sam remains calm for Kensi's benefit. He doesn't want to piss her off. So, he uses the small calm voice he used to use with his pregnant pissed off wife. "Kensi, you can't think just about yourself right now. Are you sure there's not even a bruise?"

Callen walks in again and, this time, Sam can tell he heard what he just said. The worry on his partner's face becomes even clearer and Sam can swear he becomes pale when he looks at Kensi's bloody shirt. And that's enough to make him get involved in the on-going argument. "What's going on here?"

Deeks answers him, trying to disguise the small smirk on his face. Marty Deeks knows that look on Callen's face. He's seen it before. It's the face of a man who is worried with his unborn baby. Callen has been trying to ignore this pregnancy and he's been doing a good job so far. He has yet to become a father, though. People say that women become mothers when they know they're pregnant. It takes men a little longer to become fathers. And Callen has yet to become one but Deeks knows he's slowly but surely getting there, despite the older agent's attempts against it. Deeks wants to smirk because he knows this is over. He knows there's no way Callen is letting this go by.

"Kensi won't let me check for bruises on her stomach."

Callen sighs and turns to Kensi with a patient look on his face, but a look that tells her he's not going to back down any time soon. "Lift your shirt or I'm calling Hetty."

Kensi decide it's not worth fighting against this so she turns her back to Deeks and Sam, facing Callen, and slowly lifts her shirt. She knows exactly what Callen's going to see there. There are no bruises but she's well aware of the noticeable baby-bump he's going to come face-to-face with. She started wearing loose shirts a while ago but, without a shirt, the bump becomes impossible not to notice. Afraid of his reaction to it, Kensi looks away while he inspects her stomach and checks for bruises.

She looks away, afraid that he will show no reaction to the bump. Sam and Deeks, however, stare right at Callen, studying his reaction. And that's why they see the change in his features when he sees her rounded stomach for the first time. Everything in him softens when he looks at the physical evidence that she's carrying his baby. They can see his hand, from where they're standing, itching to touch her. he doesn't, though, and clears his throat to get Kensi's attention.

When she turns to him, there's nothing there. She can't read him and Kensi figures that's probably a good thing. At least she won't have to deal with his lack of reaction.

Callen doesn't say a word to her but turns to the two smiling agents behind her. "There's nothing there. She's fine."

And, with that, he turns around and leaves the boathouse. Sam follows him while Deeks and Kensi call Eric to update him.

Sam finds Callen sitting outside, his eyes closed and his hands grabbing the bench so hard his knuckles are white. He sits next to his partner and pats him on the back.

Callen opens his eyes and looks at him, a mix between confusion and surprise on his face. "What happened to me in there? It's like I had no control over my actions…I was so close to touch her, Sam."

Sam smiles. "Congratulations, partner. You're officially a father, now."

Meanwhile, inside the boathouse, Kensi and Deeks finish updating Eric. As soon as he hangs up, Deeks turns to Kensi.

"You saw that too, right?"

Kensi frowns. "What are you talking about?"

Knowing that his partner is going to go into denial when it comes to how much Callen worries about her and not in the mood for another argument, Deeks shrugs and doesn't say another word.

Kensi sits on the couch and takes a deep breath. This pregnancy is draining all her energies, even though she tries hard to hide it from the team. However, she's sure she's not going to be able to work on the field for much longer.

By the time Callen and Sam walk in, she's drinking some water and ignoring Sam's concerned look.

She's fine. The baby's fine. Everyone's fine. She's just not sure if her relationship with Callen will ever be 'fine' again…


	7. Month Five

**Chapter 7  
Title: Month Five  
Quote of the day: "No, I didn't trip. The floor was sad and needed a hug!"**

**AN: I'm an horrible person and I can't say that enough. I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long but I had a few problems I needed to focus on. Right now, that "problem" is a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend is studying abroad and that's been kind of hard to deal with. I miss him like crazy. Anyway, I'll try to update in the next few days. Again, I'm sorry it took this long. I hope you still care about the story after all this time. **

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Kensi looks up from her paperwork and at the clock, sighing. She's five months pregnant now and Hetty removed her from field-work. It's for her own good and Kensi knows that. She didn't even try to change Hetty's mind. She knows exactly why she needs to do this. There comes a time in which she has to put the baby's safety first and going to the field is not exactly safe.

However, there are a few disadvantages to that ordeal. The day seems to go by a lot slower, for example. And there are periods of time in which she's all alone, something that doesn't please her. Kensi's sure someone asked Eric and Nell to keep her company because, whenever the team needs to go to the field, one of them shows up downstairs so she won't be all alone.

It's a sweet gesture, that's the truth. She has yet to figure out which one of the boys asked them to do this but it doesn't really matter that much either.

It's almost lunch time and, seeing as she's eating for two, she gets hungry a lot more often than usually, which is saying a lot for her. But, just as she's about to open her mouth and voice her problem, Deeks does it for her. "Okay, I'm officially hungry. Whose turn is it to go grab something to eat?"

Sam looks up and answers him, after checking the schedule to make sure he's right. "According to the schedule, it's Kensi's turn."

Yeah, that won't do. She's too tired to go out, even though it's only noon. So she protests. "Can't someone else go? I'm too tired…"

Deeks frowns and turns to her. "How can you be tired when you've done nothing but sit there and read paperwork?"

Sam laughs, almost as if guessing her answer. No one can really blame him, though. He's already gone through this with his wife. And Kensi's answer is as expected. "Hey, I'm growing a baby! What did you do all day?"

Deeks doesn't argue with her. It's a lost battle. Besides, arguing with a pregnant woman about her level of tiredness seems stupid on many different levels. "That's fair enough…I'll go. What do you want?"

Kensi is quick to answer, already knowing what she wants. "I feel like eating a big hot dog but bring the ketchup on the side."

Deeks looks quite disgusted with that, for some reason. However, as soon as he replies to her, it seems kind of obvious why he made that face. "You're going to dip apple into that again, aren't you?"

She sighs and doesn't even bother denying it. "Can you just bring me what I asked, please?"

Deeks nods and grabs his keys to go and grab them all lunch. He doesn't ask Sam and Callen what they want because it's always the same order whenever he goes and grabs them lunch. "I'll be back in 30 minutes."

Sam turns to her as soon as Deeks leaves, amusement written all over his features- "You're craving apple dipped into ketchup?"

She shrugs. "I'm craving many things, actually. Last night, I went out because I really needed to have a strawberry smoothie."

His next sentence is made to mock her and she knows it because Sam is well aware that pregnant women have no control over their cravings. "I thought you didn't like strawberry…"

Still, Kensi makes a disgusted face as she replies. "I hate it. It's disgusting. But I had to have it and it tasted too damn good."

Sam laughs and nods. "Yeah, I know how the cravings work."

Curious, Kensi mover from her chair do Deeks' to be closer to Sam. "What was your wife's most common craving?"

He seems to think about it for a few seconds before laughing and answering her. "It was for me to be the one carrying the baby."

A sweet smile appears on her face and her eyes turn softer as she looks down and rubs her small belly, lovingly. "I like being pregnant. I like feeling the baby move inside of me. It's a very deep connection."

Sam nods. "Well, apart from that, she often made me get up in the middle of the night to make her some lemonade. She drank too much of it, if you ask me. But it was the only thing she craved during the two pregnancies."

Kensi sighs and looks at Sam once again. "I can still sleep through the entire night. My doctor said it probably won't last long because the little one will become restless during the night. I'm trying to make the most of it while I still can."

The other agent seems to know exactly what she's talking about and how bad it can be. "You're lucky. My wife stopped sleeping through the entire night when she was only three months pregnant. She couldn't find a comfortable position so she had a hard time sleeping."

She's about to answer him when Callen walks in and she stops herself. Callen is still ignoring her pregnancy and she's strangely okay with that. She made peace with it over the past few weeks. That's why they don't talk about anything related to the baby in front of him.

It's about respect, really. She doesn't want to rub something in his face, especially something he's clearly not interested in. Kensi's not the kind of woman who needs anyone. Sure, it would be nice to have her friend Callen back but, as soon as she asked him to be the father of her child, she knew there was a chance of this happening.

Callen is still Callen and that's not going to change anytime soon. He doesn't want a family and that's fine by her. All she wanted was to have her friend back, the one person she could talk to about anything without feeling like she was being judged.

But that's not on the cards right now and she has no idea on how to change it. She can't bring herself to regret anything, though, seeing as she's completely in love with the little being growing inside of her.

Callen sits on his chair and notices there's one member missing. "Where's Deeks?"

Sam answers him, seeing as Kensi is still half-lost on her thoughts. "He went out to grab us lunch."

Callen nods and turns to Kensi. "How are you handling the new rule?"

She shrugs, not even bothering smiling at him. She's finding that it's easier to remain cold towards him. "I'm okay with it. I was getting tired a lot, anyway, so it's probably for the best. Besides, it's not like I can hide this from the criminals and it's a weakness."

Callen opens his mouth to say something but Kensi gets up and excuses herself to go talk to Nell, not interested in keeping a conversation with him. The damn hormones would probably make her cry at some point and he can't show her team-leader weakness. Because, in the end, that's all he is right now. He's just her team-leader.

As soon as she's far enough, Sam turns to Callen. "You need to do something about this…and fast, Callen."

The other man sighs. "What am I supposed to do, Sam?"

"Something…you're supposed to do something. Right now, you're doing nothing. How do you want to make her see you care if you can't even talk about her pregnancy?"

Callen shakes his head. "That's my baby, Sam."

Sam's expression turns softer with those words. "Then do something to bring Kensi back because that's not her. That's a shadow of her. Have you noticed that she avoids you like the plague?"

Callen doesn't answer him because he can't. He knew this wouldn't be easy but losing Kensi was never something he considered. Now he needs to fix this. He doesn't know how but he has to fix it. Because that's his baby in there and Kensi means way too much to him.

He just has to come up with something, which is a lot easier said than done.


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